My Lady
by MsWendla
Summary: Mrs Danvers came home from Kerrith only to find her lady had gone missing. After she could not find her at the cottage, she tries to convince herself that Rebecca will come back and on the way gets lost in some old memories... One-Shot


**This is a short One-Shot in which I tried to capture the strong feelings of love and affection of Mrs Danvers towards her Rebecca.  
Please _review_ this story and _tell me _what you like and how to improve.  
**

**I do not own most of the characters presented in this story and the original book, "Rebecca", belongs to Daphne du Maurier only.  
**

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**My Lady..._  
_**

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I felt the cold wind on my face still as I returned to Manderley. The boat had vanished. _Her_ boat. Something must have happened, as Rebecca would have never been out that long without telling me first.  
But I had not been there. She would have stayed here had I not been over in Kerrith. If anything had happened to Rebecca I will have to blame myself for it.  
The voices of the other servants brought my thoughts back to where I was, hidden behind the great staircase, as I always got in through the back entrance.

I clearly heard Robert's voice as he spoke out, what I would not allow myself to think: "You'd think that someone as experienced as her would know a storm to fierce to sail, but I assure you, Mrs de Winter was down in the cove last night to sail. That's what I heard her say. And if she did, she probably will not return. I could hear the waves as loud as never before from my room!"  
Anger flashed up in my chest. My lady would never be beaten by waves. Never. "There should be not time for you to talk now. Mrs de Winter should return soon. Back to work!"  
Something almost like fear flashed up in Robert's eyes as I advanced from my hiding place. He nodded quickly and then took his leave. I did not understand what I had said there. Her boat was gone. She could not return so soon.

I decided to consult Mr de Winter again, so I turned and went up the stairs.  
As I entered the west wing a faint hope flared in me that I might have just missed her and she had come back with her dinghy.  
I knocked at Rebecca's door, but, as there was no answer, entered anyway.

"Mrs de Winter?" I asked, remembering how she had always told me not to be so formal, but I could not help it.  
The room was dark and empty, just as I had left it. Everything was still in readiness for her return.  
And she would return, I told myself.

With that thought in mind I closed the door again and went up to Mr de Winter's room. Again I knocked.  
"Who is it now?", was the reply.  
I could imagine I might have disturbed him and I felt uncomfortable, but it couldn't be helped now.  
I told him, that I wanted to inform him that I had been down to the cove and that there was no sign of Mrs de Winter.  
This time he did not open the door and, for a while, he did not even answer. I could hear him walking up and down, though.  
Suddenly he said in a casual tone: "Well, Mrs Danvers? And what do you conclude from that?"  
The question startled me and the words fell out of my mouth before I could help it: "Her boat is gone. The servants think she might have drowned."  
The voice of Mr de Winter was more silent as he answered and I will never forget the dark undertone that came with his next words.  
"Yes, she might... You may leave now, Mrs Danvers."

Drowned. It could never have happened, but I had said it.

A memory flared up in me.  
A man led me into a house. I was younger then and he had just employed me. He showed me into a small room.  
"This, Madame, is my daughter. I ask you to take care of my little angel."  
The young girl on the floor stood up and curiously looked at me. Then she turned to her father. "But, daddy, I'd rather have my mum back. Why can't she return?"  
I had been informed that her mother had died recently and I could only stare at the beautiful child in her pale pink dress in front of me.  
"She just can't, Rebecca. Mrs Danvers will be there for you from now on."

I felt tears well up in my eyes. She could not have died, not my Rebecca.  
Wiping the tears from my eyes again, I started walking through the corridors, hoping to find something to do.  
I was beginning to grow anxious by the minute and soon I could not concentrate on anything anymore.

I walked over to my room and sat down.  
If she came back she would certainly look for me here. Rebecca always looked for me here.

Another memory clouded my view and I saw myself at the funeral of her father, who had died of cancer ten years later.  
She did not shed one tear, my brave lady, who had grown so much in those short years.  
All through these days people came to give her the comfort she never needed.  
I felt quite sorry for the girl, I had come to adore so much. No mother, no father. But she was a strong and smart girl and a beautiful one, too, so that, had she wanted, she could have even found herself a husband with her sixteen years.  
Soon after the funeral her favorite aunt and mother of her cousin, Jack, asked me to leave Rebecca with her, so that she could take care of her.  
I knew I would miss her as I had come to see her as my daughter, but I thought she would rather stay with her real family.  
I was about to answer, when I heard Rebecca's sweet voice behind me.  
"I'm sorry, but I wish to stay. I am perfectly well here with Danny."

I breathed heavily. I had been with Rebecca for almost all of my and her life and she had come to trust me more than anyone else.  
Had I only not gone up to Kerrith! She would have stayed, she always did. _Please, Rebecca, come back..._

Just as I thought this my door slammed open.  
"Danny! I've just been down to the cottage. Where is she? I found this on the coast near Kerrith on my way here. What the hell happened?"  
Mr Favell threw something on the ground.  
It only took one look to see what it was. A life-buoy. I took it up.  
"Where did you find it?"  
"I told you! Near Kerrith!" he shouted angrily.  
I turned the life-buoy in my hand and looked at the writing on it. _Je reviens_.  
I stood up and looked through the window at the gray sky.  
Yes, my lady, my girl, my Rebecca. Yes, you will.


End file.
